Musings

Today Exxon Mobile recorded their 2nd quarter profits of $11.68 billion. This is lower than analysts’ predictions, but still managed to break the record for the largest quarterly profit for a U.S. company (previously set by Exxon Mobile).

This works out to $1,485.55 per second in profits, over $128 million per day. Yes - you’re reading that correctly - that’s $128 million in profit, not revenue, every day.

Who do they think they’re fooling when they blame high fuel costs on the speculators or production problems? Petroleum seems to be the only industry in the world where production problems equal higher profits. Look up the term ‘oligopoly.’

Legendary writer and author Jerry Pournelle sent me an email! OK, so I’m a subscriber on his website and he sent it out to everybody, but still, I thought it was cool. The message was a warning about the fact that malicious hackers had compromised the online job boards and were selling their services to spammers and scam artists. Monster.com, hotjobs.com, and other mainstream job boards are affected. You can get the details here.

I became a fan of Jerry’s writing in the ’80s when he was a columnist for BYTE Magazine. This was back when magazines printed a lot of useful technical information, hacks, program listings, and electronics projects. A fellow programmer was a subscriber, and introduced me to the magazine, and particularly “Chaos Manor,” Jerry’s column. When BYTE was sold to another publisher, it’s format turned more to product reviews and coverage of the IT business industry. In other words, it became geared more for managers with IT budgets and less for programmers, hobbyists, and end users. Not long after that the magazine ceased publication altogether.

I missed Jerry’s anecdotal accounts of his struggles with technology. He did product reviews too, but always from the first-person perspective of a non-technical person (an author) actually trying to implement, rather than just cover, the products. His often humorous tales were always informative and entertaining. I was delighted when I discovered a year or so ago that Jerry was still writing his Chaos Manor Reviews, as well as Other Musings. I should have known that his talent and desire (need?) for self-expression would have steered him toward the online publishing world, and was chagrined that I hadn’t thought to search on his name sooner.

During our trip to Arizona this past spring (see pictures), the visit to Tombstone inspired in me a renewed interest in the famous Gunfight at the OK Corral and the surrounding events. After some research, I wrote a quick little article entitled Surprising Facts about the Gunfight at the OK Corral. I wasn’t quite satisfied with that one however, so I sat down and wrote a more extensive article called Behind the OK Corral - the Legend and the Legacy, which goes into more depth and discusses the prevailing attitudes and histories of the combatants. It also covers some of the alternate interpretations of history as maintained by the surviving members of the Clanton family. Give it a read and let me know what you think.

My family and I recently took a break from Michigan’s cold and rainy early spring and vacationed in Arizona. We flew into Phoenix, rented a car, and set out for a number of destinations, all of which were great for R and R.

First we visited some good friends in Lake Havesu City. Matt and Tee showed us around Lake Havesu, and Matt particulary proved to be a fountainhead of knowledge about the town and it’s history. For example, Robert McCulloch of McCulloch Oil (think also, “Chainsaws”) basically founded the town, and he paid to move the London Bridge from London To Lake Havesu. Yes, the London Bridge. Matt and Tee were great hosts, and took us tooling around on the Colorado River and Lake Havesu in their boat. Most of us got our first glimps of California there.

After a few days we headed on down to Sierra Vista to visit my Dad and his two dogs, Bonnie and Lucky. We also met his friend (GF?) Marita. Sometimes we just lounged around and enjoyed the weather or swam in the pool, but we also went hiking in the neighboring mountains. Even though she is not a native to the territory, Marita proved to be delightfully knowledgable about the local flora, pointing out to us alligator cypress, manzanitas, prickly pear, and other species that grow there.

While we were staying with my Dad, we took a day trip to legendary Tombstone, where the gunfight at the OK Corral took place in 1881. The movies always portray the Earps and Doc Holliday as the good guys, standing up for law and order and trying to protect the town’s citizens from the outlaw gang known as the Cow-boys. The truth is, the Cow-boys (with the possible exception of Ike Clanton, an abrasive loud-mouth) were actually well liked by most of the towns’ people. They brought money into the town, whose principle business was saloon keeping, and they rarely carried out their lawbreaking in town.
On the other hand, the Earps were seen by many as opportunists, setting up gambling a establishment and using their connections with the law to play favorites. Nevertheless, the story is rich with drama, action, intrigue, and conflict that persists to this day. I was inspired to write an article, Surprising Facts About the Gunfight at the OK Corral. Check it out and let me know what you think.
Oh, and feel free to check out all the pix from the Arizona trip.

Someone posted a challenge to the writers on Associated Content to come up with humor articles to be posted on the April 1st, April Fool’s Day. Being somewhat of a fool myself, I accepted the challenge, along with a dozen or so of my fellow AC writers. The results are compiled in a Squidoo lens - I’ve included the link below. My entry is printed here for your convenience. If you like it, consider voting for it on Squidoo by following the link.

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Foolin’ With Your Kids
Not only is it our “birth”-right to play jokes on our children, it is also our sacred duty, and one that my wife and I take very seriously. After all, how else will they learn patience? How will they learn humility? How will they learn to fool and embarrass our grandchildren when the time comes?
Embarrassment
There are numerous ways to embarrass your kids. Some kids are embarrassed by the mere presence of their parents when they’re hanging out with their friends. This should be exploited whenever possible. Accentuate whatever traits you possess that your kids find embarrassing. If possible, combine these traits for maximum impact. For example, if your singing embarrasses them and they can’t stand old country music, pull up to the school to pick them up with your windows open, belting out “Lovesick Blues” at the top of your lungs. Volunteer to chaperon the high school dance, and show up wearing the same pastel-colored velvetine tuxedo you wore to your 1979 prom. While there, offer to teach your daughter, her date, and all her friends how to do the “Electric Slide.”
Embarrassing your teenage kids is almost too easy, and can be done pretty much anywhere at any time. Whip out the baby pix showing your son in the buff. Say things like “Aw, my little man is growing up. Looks like he’s finally gotten over the ‘girls have cooties’ phase.” These are especially good when your son is spending time with a new girlfriend.
Tall Tales
Getting your kids to fall for some things is a little more challenging. When my son Stan, who’s now 13, was about 5 years old, he was asking me about the various knobs and buttons on the dash of my car. I went through the radio, windshield washers, fog lights, etc. Then, adopting the soberest countenance I could muster, I pointed to the emergency flashers. “You should never, ever, push this button.”
“Why not?” he gravely asked.
“That is the ejector seat.”
“What’s a ‘jector seat?”
So I explained what an ejector seat was, and how after it was introduced to the public in the James Bond movies, people started asking for them in their own cars. Responding to this demand, the car manufacturers began making them options that anyone could get when they bought a new car.
He was nervous, but fascinated. “So what would happen if I pushed the button?”
“A secret panel in the roof would open up, and a super powerful spring would shoot you right out. The car would keep going, so you’d land in the road and probably get run over by that truck behind us.”
“Wow. Does Katie know about this?” he asked. Katie is his older sister, and I wasn’t sure whether he was worried that she might push the button on him, or excited about the possibility of pushing the button on her.
About a year later, I was again driving with my son in the car, and I had forgotten all about the ejector seat conversation. Not him! We needed milk, so I stopped at the corner store. I told him I would be right out, and to keep the doors locked and not let anyone in the car. He says, “Don’t worry, Dad! If anyone tries to get in, I’ll just slide over into your seat and push the ejector seat button! Boy, won’t they be surprised!”
“Um… yes. But keep the doors locked just in case.”
A few months later we were once again in the car together, and I needed to use the rear defroster. I accidentally hit the emergency flashers button first. They flashed a couple of times before I turned them off and turned on the defroster. My son jerked is head to look at me, eyes wide as tea saucers. I knew what he was thinking. I said, “Boy, it’s a good thing that ejector seat has a 5 second timer! I remembered to shut it off before it flashed 5 times, thank God. You were almost a goner!”
“Da-ad! Why did you do that? You almost splatted me on the road!”
“Sorry pal, I just hit the wrong button. It won’t happen again.”
My wife said that some day when he becomes the laughing stock of his driver’s education class, he’s going to come home and kick my butt. Maybe so, but I won’t be alone. Not long after this last exchange he was basically tattling to his Grandma about me almost splatting him on the road. We had to surreptitiously explain what was going on. Now she’s completely in on it with us. My daughter on the other hand tried to tell him that we were all making it up. When she wouldn’t sit in the passenger seat so he could “prove” that we weren’t (mainly because she couldn’t be bothered to move), he became more convinced than ever that she was lying to him. [click to continue...]

Some time back I wrote an article about Charity Music, a great non-profit organization that provides musical instruments (and sometimes instruction) to students, soldiers, and senior citizens who desire to play but can’t afford to buy or rent them. The article was originally published on Associated Content, but as reported at the time, I planned to also post it on Helium. The great thing about the article appearing on Helium is the fact that I could donate all advertising revenue (my share at least) to the charity itself! So if you missed the article the first time around, read all about Charity Music on Helium, and remember - just by reading it you’ll be helping out a fantastic cause.

Pub Crawl!

I thought this would be a good opportunity to let you know about a recent development at Charity Music. They are organizing what they hope will be the biggest Pub Crawl in history, and they hope to get listed in the Guinness World Book of Records in the process. The goal is to have up to 100 clubs and bars from every state participating. If you own a bar and would like to get in on this, it might be a good way to get some great publicity, and in any case you would be helping out the cause. More information is available at the Pub Crawl Registration site.

A Helium Marketplace publisher recently asked for an article entitled ‘Quick Tips for Inner Peace’, with a 700 word maximum. I condense religion, psychology, and meditation and attempt to answer the call. Let me know how you think I did.

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Inner peace is a state of mind in which one is free from conflict in mind and spirit. This is not to say that there is no conflict in one’s life, simply that there is harmony between one’s mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Without such harmony, the flow of creativity slows or stops, physical and emotional ailments do not heal as quickly and may worsen, and progress toward ones goals in life is impeded. To remove these blockages one must restore harmony and return to a state of inner peace. Understanding is the first key to unlocking the door.

Let Go of the Past
Often attaining inner peace is not so much acquiring something as it is letting things go. The past is immutable, so holding on to regrets is counter-productive. Understand that mistakes are part of our humanity, and that sometimes it is the lessons learned the hard way that enable us to mature and progress. Realizing that just as much of our wisdom comes from error as from trial, one begins to accept that our mistakes play an indispensable role in our development.

Guilt is a large source of internal conflict, and must be expunged. The quickest way to reduce guilt is to apologize to those whom you’ve wronged. It is not essential that they actually forgive you, but it is essential that your apology is sincere. You have to actually mean it when you express your remorse. In this way, guilt fades to regret, which can then be dealt with accordingly. Examine the bad decisions and lapses in judgment, figure out where you went wrong and how you could have handled the situations differently, then move on.

Read the Rest of the Article >>

A fellow writer on Associated Content by the name of Jennifer Eblin recently published a story entitled Staley Road: A Local Haunting. It has the makings of a great ghost story: a bleeding barn, satanic cults, lights and electrical systems malfunctioning - you know, things that make local legends like this one fun.

Jennifer is careful to point out that the legends surrounding the supposedly haunted area have little basis in history. The farmer and miller who legend says killed his family, did not. She also cautions readers that the property owner is not happy about the tresspassers who park on his property and make nuisances of themselves, particularly in the middle of the night. He has gone so far as to file a lawsuit against a publisher for including his barn in a collection of wierd places in Ohio.

Well, he’s at it again, only this time the subject of the lawsuit is Jennifer herself. Even though she clearly informs readers that the legends are false, and that the property owner has little patience with ghost hunters, the law firm representing him has written her twice, notifying Jennifer that she is being named in a new suit, and demanding that she “take down” the website where her article is published.

The demands are absurd. For one thing, Associated Content owns the site, not Jennifer, who has no authority to remove the article, much less take down the site. For another, I find it very difficult to believe that her article has led to any measurable increase in property damage. Incidentally, the man lost the previous suit.

Judge for yourself. Read the article, and leave your thoughts either there (AC allows anonymous comments), or here if you prefer.

I’m reading about the President’s “Tax Relief Plan” on a White House’s web site. Don’t get me wrong, I will take and appreciate the money, but let’s not get carried away about the impact it’s going to have.
According to the site:

“Real Tax Relief for Real Families:

When President Bush’s proposal is fully in place, the typical family with two children will receive at least $1,600 in tax relief. This is real and practical help:

1. Sixteen hundred dollars will pay the average mortgage for almost two months;
2. Sixteen hundred dollars will pay for a year’s tuition at a community college;
3. Sixteen hundred dollars will pay the gasoline cost for two cars for a year; and
4. Sixteen hundred dollars will buy an average family 24 months worth of electric power.”

Where in the world did these statistics come from?

1. According to a recent article in USA Today the median mortgage payment is $1687.00. Other sites around the web arequoting $1700-2500 per month. This means that $1600.00 wouldn’t even pay one month’s mortgage for most people, let alone two.
2. US News & World Report puts the average community college tuition at $2,300.00 per year. That’s 44% higher than the $1600.00 claim made on the site.
3. The US Department of Energy says that the average vehicle travels about 10,000 miles per year. That’s 20,000 miles for a 2-car household. At the average fuel mileage of 24 miles per gallon, that’s 833 gallons a year. At $3.00 per gallon, that’s about $2500.00. So where are Bush’s advisor’s buying their gas if they can get by on $1600.00 per year for 2 cars?
4. Even the electric bill estimate is rather optimistic. The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. At an average cost of 8.4 cents per kWh, the bill for 24 months would be $1790.00. Close, but still notably higher than $1600.00.

We appreciate the money, Mr. President. Really, we do. But overstating the impact will undermine the consumer confidence you’d like to inspire.

I haven’t written in a while, due in a large part to the fact that my family and I took our Christmas vacation in Florida, escaping for a couple of weeks from the Michigan winter. We stayed with my in laws, who own a mobile home in Lakeland in a park for retirees 55 and older. Now one might think that staying in a mobile home park surrounded by old folks would be boring, but in fact if one is willing to temporarily adopt the local lifestyle, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Every Monday night they play euchre. For money. For those of you unfamiliar with euchre, its a fast card game played with partners. Okay, it only cost a quarter to play, and you don’t stand to win much, but the game is fun and the players compete as if there were hundreds of dollars at stake. I won fifty cents.

Nearly every day there is competitive shuffle boarding. Sometimes it’s a “pin game,” where there is a modified bowling pin on each end of the court. It costs a dime to play, and a nickel every time you knock down the pin. I won seventy five cents. Some of the players are actual pros. I didn’t even know there was a such thing as a professional shuffleboard player, but there is and several of them live in that Lakeland park.

Wednesday morning is bowling. Most of the residents who participated bowled better than I did. Wednesday night is bingo. I think I’m the only one in my family who didn’t win a game. Again, the stakes are small - fifty cents gets you 6 cards, and you play 8 or 10 regular games plus a couple of specials.

Thursday nights is for playing bid euchre - a variation where each player has to bid for the right to name trump. I won a dime.

We didn’t go to Florida to go to any of the expensive theme parks - we’ve done all that before. We didn’t go for the night life or to mingle with the jet set, we went to relax and enjoy the weather. I didn’t get any writing done, but I did a lot of reading, made some friends among the Grandmas and Grandpas there, and came home relaxed and refreshed.

Recently I submitted a blog entry to LiquidWordProductions for their December topic, which called for entries on things you feel you can’t live without. My submission was rejected, so I’ve decided to publish it here.

I Can’t Live Without… Music!

Confucius said “Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without.” I would agree. Music can raise our spirits, pull at our heartstrings, or get our toes tapping and fingers snapping. Few things can unite a group of people quite like the bond they feel when the instruments they’re playing seperately - the highs, the lows, the rythms and the melodies - combine to create the music that moves us. Voices raised in unison can sweep the thoughts and emotions of listeners away on flights of fancy, but no less so for the singers!

A common question among school children is “Which of the five senses would you choose to give up if you had to pick one?” Then the usual follow-up question is “Which one would you be least willing to lose.” To the visually impaired, this is going to seem incredibly naïve, and no doubt sudden blindness would be a devastating catastrophe, but I could not bear to give up the joy of music. I’ve seen great works of art. I’ve seen magnificent vistas, vibrant sunsets in the plains, and brilliant rainbows. These visions were awe inspiring, without a doubt. And yet, the tapestries created in my mind by the harmonies of a talented acapella quartet would be more difficult to sacrifice.

An endless variety of styles, genres, instruments, voices, and cultures means that there is always something new to discover, something different and exciting to which to listen. From the haunting melody of a violin playing a simple Irish folk solo to the glorious crescendo of a great symphony, or from the driving beat of a hard rocker to the twang of an old cowhand belting out a trail ballad, or even the rythmic rhymes of a street rapper, there is never a shortage of musical choices, no reason to tire of listening to the same old thing all of the time.

Without food, water, and shelter, our bodies wither and die. Could I live without music? Certainly. But without the transcending power of music and the beauty of song, life would seem so much the less worth living.